Feelings Fall

"You make me want to be a better person than you."

Is it possible

the power of Human Energy.

moves us far beyond rational choice...

enabling you to

LET ME DOWN EASY

it's not the end of the world.

Nos estamos prontos para ajuda-lo.

ever mindful

heart of "A Voyage of

Growth and Discovery,"

ENVY

Unrelieved--a sexual

Heaviness marries me

short but great

I had an amazing trip to Texas last weekend. It felt normal, like going back home in a sense. I don't know what that surprised me so much. I spent two of the most significant years of my life to date there. There was plenty of time to see friends. Time in Austin with Layton was so refreshing. It was a much needed clense. I'm learning just how exhausting my job can be. But I'm also learning the ways I make it more overwhelming than it needs to be. I've been so wrapped up in the drama of my team that my best friend's birthday came and went without me. I get frustrated with myself too easily and I'm reminding myself everyday that this uncomfortable growth is the thing of which leaders are made. I'm building up a good support network here. I stayed up til 3 in the morning last night being artistic with my downstairs neighbor, Jess. I spent significant time cooking and baking this weekend. I'm thrilled to be going home to see my family and some friends in just a few days. I'm pledging to live life fully here in DC and that doesn't mean City Year 24/7. This work/life balance is a tough row to hoe, but I need to figure it out sooner rather than later. Alright, enough thoughtless rambling.

death defying tight-rope walk

My friends, I am so blessed. I got back from a retreat this weekend with the Eli Segal Fellows. The network is kind of a long story, so if I haven't already told it to you then ask and I'll explain. Basically I'm part of a network of social justice minded people who want to support each others' professional and personal pursuits. Well I connected with a gal, Jess, who is interested in talking about/helping to start City Year Atlanta. Oh my goodness! I have my team. Step one in this endeavor was (in the words of Michael Brown) to find a partner because then I would have instant team. I also had a thought when I was first introduced to this Network: that you all are a part of this network as well. Jill, I talk about you all the time and mentioned you about a million times this weekend to the point of Toni, the program manager, saying she has to meet you. The Segal Network is very strong in Boston because it's based out of Brandeis and so she would love to have coffee/lunch one weekend and get to know you. I think you would hit it off. Or I should visit you soon and we should do something with the fellows in Boston. I think of this Network as not only a great resource for me but my co-workers, corps members, friends and family. And Layton, another thought I first had was how much this was like lightshiners. Especially with you recent text, I couldn't help thinking about that this weekend and how my connection to these people is connecting them to that idea we have. I feel like every day the reality of Ubuntu resonates with me more and more. I basically want to have conversations around this. I'm new to the Segal Network, but I'm excited about making it a strong part of my life.

reunited

My last post was roughly one year ago. I think with the recent geographical change it's about time to start up again because my "typical" routine was shaken and I have emerging thoughts in my head. There is so much I should have been writing about the last few months. Alas... the blanks will start to slowly fill themselves in I'm sure. I have recently found myself separated from 2 amazing people, Jill and Layton. So I'm hoping if I'm better about reading Layton's blog she'll read mine and it'll help us remain close. I remember when taking my move out to San Antonio thinking about all the wonderful people I've met in my life. Most importantly San Antonio brought Jill into my life and I miss her terribly.

So basically, I'm back. I don't have internet at my apartment yet, so the posts will be weekly on average. Please read, comment, and enrich my virtual reality.

yes, I've resorted to writing prompts...

My brain must be on hiatus. So here is random writing prompt number one: "Whose birthday was it? Write about the most memorable birthday party you ever attended."

Sarah Dyer's birthday party. I want to say second grade. There was lazor tag at Q-zar. I'm sure there was also cake at some point, though that's definitely not one of the most memorable aspects of the night. I was a bit of a wuss growing up. I would try to participate in sleepovers, but until the 4th or 5th grade I would end up surrendering to my homesick tendencies. This night I was particularly frightened because a family friend had recently been bitten by a copperhead when doing yardwork. It was actually my friend Peter's mom, if I remember correctly. She recovered fine, but the fear of snakes suddenly came to me after the night was winding down and we were putting in a movie. I called my parents, they couldn't come get me because they were out (and paying for a babysitter to be at home with my sisters) so naturally one of Sarah's parents drove me home. I remember the red brake lights in the driveway at my house and the immediately realization that it wasn't any better at home with the babysitter. I immediately wanted to go back to the party, but even in my naivete, I knew that would be unacceptable.

I'm an ordinary radical?

I’ve decided I want my next post to be a book review. I’ve been reading The Irresistible Revolution: living as an ordinary radical by Shane Claiborne and I can’t put it down. I’ll start by giving you some quotations from the books so you can get a feeling for it. These are also quotations that really spoke to me.

Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world. I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, “You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet.” (65)
This just makes me want to cry. How many times do we almost boast as Christians about being the hands and feet of Jesus one minute and the next we’re struggling, blaming God and asking him why he allows horrible things to happen in our world? Why doesn’t he just snap his fingers and make everything better. It’s because I’m that finger. And it’s my job to snap, to jump to action and do God’s will and work in this broken world.

As my teacher, Tony Campolo used to ask, “Even if there were no heaven and there were no hell, would you still follow Jesus? Would you follow him for the life, joy, and fulfillment he gives you right now?” (117)
As I was reading this book I kept thinking that this is the Christianity I’ve been searching for my whole life. I wonder how much stronger and secure in my progressive thoughts I would be if I was introduced to this Christianity my whole life. I used to ask people this question when I was younger. Most people in my church didn’t understand. I claimed that I didn’t care if the whole Jesus thing was a host, the joy and fulfillment that knowing Christ brings to my life is worth the possibility that I may be a fool.

So it’s important to understand that redistribution comes from community, not before community. Redistribution is not a prescription for community. Redistribution is a description of what happens when people fall in love with each other across class lines. (163)
Classism is an ism in our world with which I have the most trouble grappling. It’s so hard for me to not judge people (especially Christians) who are so fiscally conservative. Who think they’re entitled to their money. Now of course this is true to a certain degree, but if you claim to believe in Christ and try to follow in his footsteps then how can you sleep at night with all your money knowing there are people who die of starvation everyday. I know that’s a harsh statement and I know it’s a complicated issue. But I strongly believe that when people see other people as their brothers and sisters in Christ and get to know those people, they will not be able to resist the intense desire to make sure their basic needs are met.

… in the Lord’s Prayer … we are taught to pray for our daily bread. (To pray for “my” daily bread is a desecration; we are to pray for “our” daily bread, for all of us.) Over and over, we hear the promise that if we take only what we need, there will be enough. (170)
I think about all the food that is wasted in our society; from restaurants and family homes alike. Live simply so that others may simply live.

There are so many signs of hope, dear friends, and not just within the Christian underground. The crazy thing is that we are beginning to make sense; ordinary radicals are all around us. So we mustn’t allow ourselves to detach from the church in a self-righteous cynicism. That’s too easy and too empty. To those communities that have severed themselves from the established church, please build a bridge, for the church needs your prophetic voice. We can do more together than we can do alone. (354)
This pretty much sums up the reason I’m so passionate about going to seminary and becoming a minister. It’s silly, but I know I won’t be taken seriously by a lot of Christians unless I’ve been to seminary. I also want to be a part of the church and help to revitalize it and break the stereotypes and stigmas (ha) that surround Christianity. It won’t help to detach myself from the church and strike out on my own. I need to embrace the community that gives so much to help it discover a way to mend its brokenness.

Welcome to the irresistible revolution, a new and ancient way of life that is so attractive, who would settle for anything else? Welcome to the revolution of little people, guerrilla peacemakers, and dancing prophets, the revolution that loves and laughs. The revolution begins inside each of us, and through little acts of love, it will take over the world. Let us begin to be Christians again. Jesus, give us the course. (356)
What could be better than that?

City Year. Give a year. Change the world.

So it’s been a good while since my last post. I’ve been traveling all over! It’s been so wonderful. First I flew to Toronto to see my dad and Heather. That was an amazing trip and I wish so so much that it could have lasted much longer. Then I flew to Philadelphia for the Diplomas Now training. That felt so productive for the most part. We worked out a lot of details about how we’re going to implement this partnership at McAuliffe. After Philly it was off to Boston. For the first few days it was just Mary Elyse, Ethan and me. I got to see a lot of Boston. I did some site seeing on my own. Then the rest of the senior corps team from San Antonio came on Saturday night and we went to Charlie Rose’s (the Dean & VP of City Year) restaurant called Bella Luna. That was a great time. The rest of the week was filled with the inspirational training of Academy and getting to know all the other wonderful team leaders from all around the country. We worked hard and played hard. I never felt tired… not once the whole week. There was just too much energy and idealism swimming all around me and in my head. I don’t know how much I’ve stressed in this blog just how much City Year and all the people who work in this amazing organization inspire me and fuel my fire. I’m part of a national movement; a movement of service aimed specifically at eliminating the education gap and empowering the next generation to not just graduate from high school, but change the world. It seems so basic. But I think it’s just the answer I’ve been searching for. It’s just the place for me to start my travels and adventures in the non-profit world that I feel certain will be my life. Education. Not only as a means to a job or university, but maybe more importantly a means of feeling connected to your community and your world, a way to learn about different cultures and ways of thinking, and to learn that you’re not an island; to be inspired to see your potential come to full fruition.

City Year. Give a year. Change the world.